Lotsa Drama

Musicals that require joint cooperation between departments should not be allowed. AND WE NEED MORE (HONEST) PEOPLE AUDITIONING!

Get this, the night of auditions, our cast listed 12 conflicts. Guess how many there are now. 85! Can you believe that. And almost 1/4 of those are from our leading lady. GAH!!

And the attitudes! *bangs head into desk*

Despite the pain in the ass it is right now, I'm still having fun. Weird, huh?

And I'm uber excited.

Feel like I'm forgetting something.

So, I think I'm starting to finally heal. It's hard to believe that it was almost two months ago that I finally broke up with Stephen. And that I'm finally reaching the point where I'm not continually hurting. Don't get me wrong, it still hurts, but it's not an all-consuming pain. I'm not crying myself to sleep at night anymore. The nightmares have faded. I'm not full of rage. I don't wanna physically hurt Stephen or anyone anymore.
In fact, when I think of him, everything is kinda numb. There is still the dull pain in my chest and occasionally a flicker of anger. But for the most part, I don't feel much about it. Okay, and yes, a bit of sadness. I did love him, even if he didn't love me.
Even though all of this has been on hell of a rollercoaster, I am finally making it through the day without to much trouble. I've almost completely stopped mentioning him in conversation and I'm finding that he creeps into my mind a litte less each day.

I See a River

So, I didn't even get a callback for auditions.

But I got something even better!

I GET TO ASM Urinetown! Eeeeekkk!!!!

I'm ecstatic.

Back to the humdrum life...

And I'm excited! :P

Seriously, I never thought I would ever be excited to be going to school. I am ready for classes to start up again. Tomorrow night, a voice instructor will be assisting students in preparing for auditions on Tuesday. I'm excited for that as well. I've never auditioned before, but I've been practicing a lot and working hard at it. Hopefully, it will go well. If I get the role of Evelyn, I will flip a switch with ecstatic happiness. *crosses fingers*

I can't...

I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't get over the hurt. I can't stop being angry. I just want to scream. I want to pull my hair and yell at the top of my lungs. No, I want to punch someone. Hard. Actually, I want to punch a certain someone. I want to make him hurt too. He says he hurts, but I want to physically hit him. I'm horrible, I know. He was fucking around with not one, but TWO other girls when he took my virginity. *screams* He keeps telling me how much he misses me, how much he loves me. How can he claim to love me when he's done what he's done? How can he claim to respect me when his actions are screaming that he's the most disrespectful, loathsome man alive?